


The President, The Savage, And The Tin Dog Walk In To A Bar

by phantomlistener



Category: Doctor Who, Gallifrey (Big Finish Audio)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-16
Updated: 2012-06-16
Packaged: 2017-11-07 21:55:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/435867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantomlistener/pseuds/phantomlistener
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's a dashing Time Agent, she's the President of the greatest civilisation across universes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The President, The Savage, And The Tin Dog Walk In To A Bar

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sleepismyfriend](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepismyfriend/gifts).



Romanadvoratrelundar took her job seriously.   To be fair, there was very little which she didn’t take seriously, but being Lady President of Gallifrey wasn’t something one could ignore on a whim.  
  
Other people’s whims were apparently different.  When Leela ‘informed’ the High Council that the Madam President would be taking a holiday (‘informed’ being code for ‘threatened to kill if they protested’), there were no objections.  Well, no objections that reached Romana’s ears; it was entirely possible that her savage had simply had half the cabinet thrown in the dungeon and left them there to shout their fussy heads off at damp walls.  
  
Instead, the President, the savage, and the tin dog fofound themselves in some sort of rundown bar waiting for a contact.  
  
A contact.  Leela had been furious – and, really, the expression was in this case quite literal – when she’d realised that, despite her best efforts, this respite had become another stop on the path to political security.  And not just any old stop: the bar they were in was old, grimy, and a trifle too ramshackle to prevent the music from rattling the benches, tables, glasses, and roof when it was turned right up.  
  
Leela frowned.  "This music is terrible."  
  
Romana glanced over at the contraption from which the offending music was blaring.  "I believe my next act as President will be to ban anything quite this dreadful."  
  
"Perhaps you should make use of it as a weapon."  There was a glint in Leela's eye, either humour or murderous rage.  It was hard to tell the difference, sometimes.  
  
"Hello ladies."  The voice that intruded was distinctly appreciative, and a little too familiar to be addressing the President of Gallifrey.    
  
"Good evening," Romana said icily, shooting a glare at the speaker.  
  
Leela's hand went to her dagger.  
  
"Oh, it is now," the man said.  "Captain Jack Harkness at your service, ma'am."  That last was delivered with what would have been a leering grin were it not for the sloppy salute that came with it.  
  
"Do you know who I am?" Romana hissed indignantly.  Beside her, Leela's eyes narrowed, darting around the rest of the dubious clientele in search of eavesdropers.  Her expression darkened as she looked back at Jack.  
  
"Hey, no need to get nasty!"  Jack raised his hands in mock defeat.  "Can't a guy compliment a girl here without getting a stare of doom?"  
  
"You will behave appropriately or I will stick my knives in you," Leela said flatly.  
  
"Feisty."  
  
"If you do not-"  
  
"Leela," Romana said gently.  "I can handle this."  She turned to the Time Agent and raised an eyebrow.  "Do you have information or are you going to further waste my time with your nonsense?"  
  
"I'm sorry, ma'am."  The glint in his eyes belied any real regret, and he continued with a smirk.  "I do have information, as a matter of fact.  I wondered when you were going to cut the flirting and get down to business."  
  
The eyebrow-waggle that accompanied that last statement was most definitely not appropriate. Romana rolled her eyes.  "You do realise that I rule the most powerful cicilisation in the entire universe?  That I could have you erased from existence on a mere whim?"  
  
"Perfectly okay.  I like powerful women."  
  
"Can I hurt him?" whispered Leela, her hand on her knife.  
  
"You may not.  He has useful information-" Romana studied him with an air of nonchalance- "so I suppose he's not as useless as he first seemed."  
  
"Very well, Romana."  
  
"Come on then, Madam President."  Jack leaned back in his chair with a grin, waving a hand at the waiter.  "Let's do this."  
  
"You could begin by not calling me 'Madam President'."  
  
"And you could begin by having a drink and lightening up."  
  
"I shall do no such-"  She was cut off by the waiter putting down a tall glass of green liquid in front of her.  Before she could react, Leela grabbed it and pu it in reach of K9's sensors.  "Analyse it, K9."  
  
A whirring of circuits later, K9 spoke."Substance is harmless, Mistress Leela.  Water.  Alcohol.  Sugar.  Other chemicals.  All acceptable for consumption."  
  
"See?" said Jack.  "Not trying to poison the-" he lowered his voice conspiratorially- "President of Gallifrey.  Now, have a drink and we'll discuss terms."  
  
"What, helping the Timelords isn't sufficient payment?"  She pushed her drink away.  "Information, Captain Harkness.  And remember - obliteration is not an idle threat."  
  
Leela nodded appreciatively.  
  
"Fine, fine.  Have it your way.  I'll make it easy for you: my terms are simply that you have a couple of drinks and relax.  Or is that too common for you?"  
  
"This is a holiday, mistress," piped up K9.  "Imbibing alcohol is an accepted pasttime when on holiday."  
  
Leela looked dubious.  
  
Romana looked dubious.  
  
Jack grinned.  "Hey, look at that.  A tin dog who knows how to party."  
  
There was almost - almost - a smile at the edge of Romana's lips.  "Very well, Captain," she said.  "As this is technically a holiday, and since you asked so nicely, I shall indulge you."  She raised a warning hand.  "Information first."

  
Jack reached in to his coat and brought out a tiny cube.  It was glowing slightly, more so when he tipped it in to Romana's hand.   
"Happy now?"  
  
"Unmeasurably," she returned dryly.  "I do like to get the important things out of the way first.  One simply can't enjoy oneself with the knowledge that there are tasks vital to the security of Gallifrey still to be done."  
  
Leela scowled.  "I will be watching you," she said, narrowing her eyes at Jack.  "Hurt Romana and I will kill you."  
  
He grinned.  "It's going to be a great night."


End file.
